Trip Out West (Part 2)

For most of the rest of the trip the pictures are self explanatory. We drove to San Diego and stopped at the temple there. We had hoped to be able to go inside, but it was closed for renovations. Then we met my mom and her brother on Coronado to start a real vacation...The kids saw the beach for the first time, got to pet a dolphin at Sea World and just hang out and relax. We were able to spend Friday and part of Saturday with my mom's sister and her family. We also went to the USS Midway and the kids got to climb in all types of airplanes.   We then tackled the 27 hour long car ride home...straight from San Diego to Springfield with a small detour to drop my mom off in Las Vegas. The kids did great, Ben drove through the night and we switched off...I would definitely do it again!

Love my girl

Ari called these the "nibble fish" they eat the dead skin off your hands

Trip out West part 1

We spent 2 weeks traveling out west. It was quite the trip and the kids did amazing! We drove through 10 states (about 4,000 miles), slept in 6 different places (including the car), renewed friendships, and saw prairies, foot hills, mountains, deserts, forests, and an ocean.
I will warn you, I didn't get as many pictures of people as I would have liked. If we were with people it was usually filled with talking and enjoying each others company.

I think Kansas was the only place boring enough to put them both to sleep

There was a beautiful rest stop in Colorado, about an hour outside of Denver.

Ari and Deven loved hiking Bridal Veil Falls. 











We drove up to Salt Lake and met up with Liz and Alan Graden. They were the ones that introduced Ben and me. (Of course this is the only picture I got, the kids were running all over the place!)

In Provo we stayed with Ben's cousin Royal and his family. Our kids had a blast playing together. I didn't get very many fun pictures at all but Deven and Zeke loved building together and all the boys came up with some crazy games.

We then drove to Bakersfield to visit our good friends Rachel and Shiloh Logan.

They had a leopard gecko...one of Ari's favorite animals.

While I was there I was able to do some family history. I was able to find my great-grandfather's obituary and gravestone. 

Then we drove down to San Diego and stopped in LA to visit Amy, a good friend from high school.

Birth Parent Visit

It has been a while since I have written here. I went through a hard spot after losing our baby, Ty. Picking up my camera would bring me to tears...I still took pictures with my phone, but pulling out my nice camera just wasn't an option for a while...Then life hits and you just have to move on. 
Yesterday, Ari and I went up to Kansas City to see her birth parents, Tyson and Lindsey. Ari was really nervous at the beginning and it broke my heart to see her so anxious, but she handled it and warmed up to each of them with a little time. 
The realities of adoption are hard to face sometimes. Ari's case is one of the best that I could hope for. Both of her birth parents have made good life choices and are very interested in her and her well being. She has so much family that loves and supports her, but she still faces the difficulties of figuring out how all these people fit into her life.  It is a road we will all travel down together and face the challenges as they come. 

Sadness and Healing

We have been supported and love by so much family and friends lately, I am so grateful. From the friends who cleaned my house, to those who brought food, sent loving texts, or gave me a shoulder to cry on. I am grateful to you.

 I am not allowed to share the specifics of our story with our little man but I have come up with a way to share with you some of the events in a way that might help you to understand what has happened over the last 7 months.

Imagine this….

You know something is going on and decide to see a specialist about it. She tells you, Surprise! You will have a baby next week. There seems to be some complications and she is unsure how long your baby will be with you. She thinks you have a good chance of raising him to adulthood, but it could only be a year to 18 months. She will know more when the baby is born.

He is born and happy and healthy and the specialists say he can come home on time and they don’t see any complications. They have no concerns and believe you will be able to raise him to adulthood. There is still a chance something could happen so they will keep checking, but they will know for sure by 6 months.

At one month you meet with the specialists. They say things still look very good, there is nothing to concern them. They will keep checking but expect at 6 months to be able to drop the case.

At two months you meet with new specialists again and they say no change but they are going to look at the case a little differently.

At three months you go into the meeting they still say everything looks good, there were a few things that came up but none of them were anything to worry about.

At four months they inform you that some things have come up and it is much more likely that you will only have him for 12-18 months, but they are unsure. You could still raise him to adulthood.

At five months you hear and see some things that make you think that you might lose him sooner that you think, so you ask the specialists and they tell you, no, he will be with you for another 8 months or more.

At six months you get the news that he will be gone in a month.

On January 4^th he left us. Our hearts and lives will be forever changed for the better. We have learned to love more openly and fully. We have grown and will continue to grow because of his influence in our lives. We are sad but not broken. We are hurt but ready to open our hearts again. Thank you for your ray of sunshine, your smile, laugh, and gurgles.  Your snuggles, chattering, and encouragement will be missed. My wonderful little man, you are loved.

*Thank you Sarah for encouraging me to write this.

**To my wonderful friends and family please see this as a good step in the healing process not a plea for pity.