Somethings I have learned...

Ok so random things that being a mom has taught me.
I have learned:

• Bottle warmers are amazing!

• Ari does not like Enfamil, she will spit it up...not fun
• My soap and water bucket (for poopy clothes) needs to be bigger, my clothes need to fit in there too...
• A good stroller makes walks so much easier! I love mine!

• Ari loves classical music, and I love Pandora :)
• It is really hard to remember words to songs at 2am, even if you have been singing them since you were little...
• No one thing works all the time, you just have to be flexible and have patience...
• If you don't multi-task, nothing gets done
• Sometimes you have to stop and think about what makes it all worth it:

 

Dear Arianna

Dear Arianna,

Today you are 1 month old. It has been a crazy, wonderful, busy month. The conclusion after all this: you are very loved. You came in to this world two and a half weeks early, but your timing couldn't have been better. It worked out perfectly to be able to spend a wonderful Christmas with you, for your birthmom to be able to get back to school, and even for your dad to take some much time off of work.
You were part of a miracle when you were only 5 days old, not many people can say that. You had two birth parents who loved you enough to decide that they could not provide the best home for you, and you have two parents who were prompted by the spirit to work to take care of you.
You came to a home full of love, less than an hour after you arrived home you where showered with love from friends and family. During your first week of life you were held by 5 aunts, 4 uncles, and 2 sets of grandparents. You were also loved and welcomed by your birth parent's families. I pray that you will know and feel this love throughout your life.
The first week home you slept through the night for 3 nights! That has not been repeated since, but would be greatly appreciated ;) Your dad and I have started to figure out your routine and have been able to share the responsibilities of caring for you. Your dad, being the night owl that he is, lets me go to bed early and is up with you until about midnight or one. Then I get up with you usually 2 more times before you are awake for the day. You usually have about 2 periods of "wakefulness". You like to be awake when the sun comes up in the morning, and then in the evening usually after dinner.
You hated sponge baths, but love real baths. You especially love your hair washed and combed. It is starting to get curly when it is wet. You sometimes like your pacifier and other times won't take it. You like your swing and the white noise machine, as long as it is playing a water sound. You don't like your clothes or your diaper changed, which has made it harder to get some cute pictures...but as your mom I have forced you into some outfits :)
Your eyesight has really improved and you are starting to follow us when we walk across the room. People say it isn't possible yet, but I believe you smiled at me yesterday :) You are strong and growing, 9 lbs and 22 inches long! The doctor has been really impressed with how healthy you are. You are still figuring out how your legs and arms work, but don't worry, you will stop hitting yourself soon.
You continue to sing yourself to sleep and will grunt if anyone moves you. You make your own soundtrack to the delight of everyone. Anytime the family gets together you are the main attraction, and you never fail to impress.
Arianna, I love you. I will always love you. I hope you know how blessed and special you are.
Love,
Mom

The Beginning (part 2)

Ben and I got back from Jordan and moved into a small apartment in Provo. It was my last year of school and the most stressful. Ben had a year and a half left and the only money in the bank was the student loans we took out. We both got part time jobs. I cleaned offices and homes while Ben fixed computers. We settled into a nice rhythm but were always hoping and expecting more.
Fall semester I was doing one of my practicums. That is when you go to class for a few weeks, then teach in the school for a few weeks, then back to the university to finish up the year. Things were so stressful and hard that I considered quitting teaching and changing my major. On top of that each month would go by and we would hope and pray that I was pregnant. But I wasn't. There were times that I was late and felt "sick" or early and thought it was implantation bleeding...Your mind can really play tricks on you when you want something so badly. There was even a time that I threw up for no reason...It was horrible.
Ben and I couldn't explain it and it was difficult to find peace, we just thought it would take time. We would leave it up to the Lord.
We had made plans to move out the California for the summer and sell pest control. We needed the money to pay off debt and we had some good friends who were also going. Because I was graduating in April I knew that I would lose the good insurance that was provided by the school, so we decided to go to the Dr. to find out if anything was wrong.
Most doctors won't see you for infertility until you have been trying for at least a year. It had been less than that for us, but when we explained our situation he made an exception. He ran some tests and on the day I locked my keys in the car and Ben found out he didn't get the CIA position he was hoping for (that was really a blessing, but we didn't know it at the time), we found out that it would be nearly impossible for us to get pregnant "naturally."
I think that is the biggest blow we have ever received in our marriage...and it hit hard.
Ok sad part of the story, but remember it all turned out well and we have a beautiful daughter...

The Beginning...(part 1)

It is difficult to find time to write here. I feel like I am either holding, burping, feeding, changing Ari or cleaning up the mess that the burping, feeding and changing has made. But it is Sunday, a day for resting from our labors, so yes, my house is a mess, but I get to write part of our story! (and notice it didn't get published until Tuesday :)
This a going to get personal. I have debated about how much detail I should go into here, but I keep thinking, "If I had read someone else's story when I went through all of this, it would have helped." So, I want to help anyone who is struggling with infertility or maybe a birthmom who is still trying to make her decision. Here is my and my husband's story. This is what we had to go through to have our beautiful little girl...
Ben and I were married December 27th 2005, after we had dated for a little less than a year. Both of us wanted a big family, the only thing we had to decide on was when...Ben was majoring in Arabic and Middle Eastern Studies and needed to do a study abroad to complete his major. We signed up to go the summer after we got married. The idea of getting pregnant and being in the middle east truly frightened me, so we decided we would wait before trying to have kids. This is a decision I regret, not the decision itself, but the motivation behind it...I was scared. I didn't pray, I didn't ask the Lord, I was just too scared. I could have had the peace that infertility was all part of the Lord's plan, but I didn't leave it up to Him, I made the decision. I still am left with the question of "What if?" What's done is done and I have learned a valuable lesson...make decisions with the Lord and if things don't turn out like you thought they would, they are still part of His plan, have faith. It this lesson, make decisions with faith not fear that actually helped to prompt us to talk to the Birth Father and get Ari...the Lord works in mysterious ways.

On the Nile River

Ok back to our story...Ben and I left for Jordan in April of 2006. It was the most wonderful trip we have ever taken, I would go back in a heartbeat. I felt more at home there than I had almost anywhere else. It was there that I had an experience that changed my heart and I had the faith to start a family. We were out walking one evening (that is the only cool part of the day) and people slowly began coming out of their homes with their families to play and talk in the streets. I have never really seen anything like it...this community was completely focused on family. We were surrounded by chatter and laughter that echoed in my brain. This is what I wanted, this was the life that I wanted to lead...my fear left. I wanted a family.
While we were in Jordan we got phone calls from two different friends to announce that they were pregnant. We were excited that we would all probably be having kids around the same time, but also a little disappointed that it hadn't happened yet...but it just takes time right?

Frist Week...

Well, it has been just over a week since we have been home and we have all survived! Arianna has slept pretty well...3 nights she slept through the entire night! We are figuring out schedules and how to keep everyone happy.
The business has been busy and I am figuring out how to answer the phone and take care of her. She has been really good, so it has worked out alright.
We went to her 2 week check up and the doctor was impressed with how healthy she is. She now weighs 7 lbs 12oz. She gained almost a pound in a week! The weather has been so beautiful that I took her for a walk in the park. It felt great to get some exercise and she loved the stroller.
Ben and I went out on a date a few nights ago. We bundled her up in the car seat and she slept the entire time. We have been blessed.
My family also has come out to visit. My mom and sisters came out when we first got home and stayed a few days, then my dad came out yesterday. I enjoyed the opportunity to "teach" my sister newborn care and to show off how Arianna is so mild mannered.

Lindsey, the birthmom also came to visit today. Her dad and sister had been planning on being in town for Arianna's birth, but because she came early they were unable to meet her. They came for a few hours and got to witness Ari's sweet coo's and humming, they also got to experience her first blowout...Ahh the wonders of an infant. (Sorry I didn't get any pictures I will have to have Lindsey send me some.)
I just want to say I love being a mom. This is the job I have been hoping and praying for my whole life and it is finally here. Sometimes it seems a little surreal, others times it just feels right, I am in heaven. Earlier today I was feeding her and she looked up at me, and I knew she knew me...I am her mom, that just blows me away.

Arianna's Birth

This is a birth story from the perspective of an adoptive parent. Still, it will have words like dilated and effaced, if that bothers you, read the next post.

Lindsey's mom called us on Wed. December 21st to tell us that Lindsey had fallen down the stairs. She was alright, but had some regular contractions. She said they would watch it and let us know if anything happened. Later that night they went to the hospital but Lindsey was only dilated to a 1 so they sent her home. She went to the doctor later that day and she said everything was fine and she didn't expect the baby until January.

(This was taken the morning before she went into labor)

Even after hearing the baby wasn't expected soon, the incident kind of gave me the "push" I needed to get everything ready. My sister-in-law came over Thursday afternoon and helped me to get the nursery organized and ready. Then Friday I concentrated on the house. I cleaned, organized, did laundry, and packed our luggage...I also went to the store and bought last minute items: onesies and snacks for the trip. Ben made a fabulous dinner while I finished things up around the house. After we did the dishes, so everything was clean, we decided to run some errands. I remember thinking that I must be crazy; the house didn't need to be that clean; it would just get messed up tomorrow, and the baby wasn't coming for weeks! But I felt ready, so it was worth it...Well I am so glad I did.
We were about finished with our errands when we drove past Krispy Kreme Doughnuts. The 'Hot Now' sign was on so we decided to stop and get a doughnut. Literally as the worker was handing us doughnuts, Lindsey's mom called to say her water broke...I think the doughnut is still in the car...I couldn't eat or think after that. We rushed home and got the car packed and were on the road in 15 minutes. (It was a good thing I had our bags packed and snacks already...)
The drive to St. Joesph normally takes about 4 hours. Ben and I decided that speeding was acceptable and we would pay whatever tickets we got...We started calling family and friends letting them know that Arianna was on her way.
At the same time Lindsey's mom was texting me updates on her progress. They checked into the hospital and Lindsey was dilated to a 4 at 8:39pm. Then at 9:02pm I got the text that Lindsey was at a 9 and pushing. Then we got this text at 9:17pm "7lbs 4oz 20 1/2 inches long." Arianna really wanted to get into this world! Lindsey's labor was about an hour and 45 minutes!

We made it to the hospital around 11:30 and got to hold our beautiful daughter.
Lindsey's mom keeps a blog and if you would like to read their version of the story you can read it here.

Arianna is Home!

We were able to bring Arianna home on Thursday December 29th. That day was a total emotional rollar coaster. We were able to get a court date for that morning and had assumed that it would go smoothly and we would be able to be on our way home by noon...It wasn't that easy. The birth father, Tyson, came to the court house and wanted very much to be a father to Arianna. We were told there was nothing else for us to do but walk away...The Lord blessed us and touched Tyson's heart. He and his mother agreed to talk with us, and after an amazing conversation Tyson consented to the adoption. We were very touched by the love that he had for a daughter he had never met. We invited him and his family to the hospital to meet Arianna when we checked her out...

It was one of the most wonderful scenes I have ever witnessed. Arianna will now have the opportunity to know both her birth-mother and birth-father. I cannot think of a better beginning to this adoption. Miracles were worked and lives were changed.
Arianna is now home and we are figuring out how life is supposed to work. My family came down the visit and we invited all Ben's siblings over to meet her...Tomorrow will be the first "normal" day of our new life...we will see how it goes...